so, i post on here like once a month for several months in a row. and now i'm posting my usual vague garble - deliberately cryptic still (since it's really just meant for me to understand) - but in rapid succession. something is obviously up. to this i confess. i don't know that i'm going to come right out and talk about it. after all, this is an open blog.
let me just state for the record however, that i can appreciate people for their weaknesses. i truly enjoy flaws. how else could i explain having so many of my own? BUT, when those flaws start to hinder me directly and trip me up with some malice aforethought, now we have a problem. and when those flaws begin to confuse and hurt those that i love, even if it's not by design but as fall out from their behavior towards me... yeah. i'm guessing that you've decoded the fact that i don't like that.
now what to do about it. nothing. it's the worst feeling in the world. helplessness. when someone holds all the cards and uses them to coerce the response they desire - particularly when those "cards" are people - it stinks.
so much for vague. i don't care. i am so frustrated by this system. no one should hold all the cards. well, ok. i don't care so much if He holds all the cards, but He rarely does. maybe that's why i don't mind... blah blah blah.
you know, i thought my mind would be a lot clearer after writing some of this stuff out, but really, i'm just tired. apparently cryptic doesn't do a whole lot for me. even when i'm not.
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Write it out in clarity, even if it is not in this forum. Write it for you. To dance around something that is causing you anguish will only continue to cause you pain. And offers no solution. Write out the problem, then options for the solution. I love and support you in whatever capacity, even if it is simply to send you good vibes from where I am. Which I am. xoxo
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