i have noticed as of late that life has decided to make really quick turns and spins. sometimes i fool myself into believing that if it would just slow a titch and maybe not twist quite so aggressively that i would like it better. but i think i understand now that i would not like that at all.
i like my life full of surprise. the obvious solution to the excitement and tumult would be to try and slow down or manage myself differently. but i don't and when i consider a less interesting path i inevitably infuse adventure and (perhaps a bit more accurately) chaos back into my days... nights... hours... minutes. i like it better that way. helps me remember that i'm a living breathing being.
some of the side effects i could probably live without. but my guess is someday i'll make the decision to take it down a notch. or two. or four. until then i like this. i like energy. i like challenge. i like measurable outcome. i like my life and the people in it. i'm just not willing to alter that right now. some good and some bad is giving me pretty remarkable results. if i remove bad i could eliminate a component of good. not interested.
i feel so zen.
29.1.11
a little perspective, please?
or maybe a little less. who knows.
just about the time you think you're finally getting your balance - just out of the corner of your eye you happen to glimpse the other shoe (or sometimes the whole damn store) falling just to your right.
how is it that i have so many thoughts and feelings... maybe i'd even go so far as to label them 'preminitions' about things, and yet - somehow, i'm never quite prepared for whatever is coming? good things? bad things? no such things.
i don't even know where to begin this time. not even sure it matters. apparently things are going on and i'm not necassarily being inturpretted as essential. whew. had me worried for a minute there. i thought i was actually going to be required to contribute something. at least now i understand the full expectation. now i can at least watch my back.
really? no warning? is this really how adults handle things? i suppose then, that i'm not interested in being an adult at all. i'd much prefer to just get it all out. i'm not a superfan of closed door, special interest groups or their self-serving, cloak and dagger debates.
go on then. persue whatever it is that you think will work best. please just count me out. one casualty is more than enough body count for this little girl.
just about the time you think you're finally getting your balance - just out of the corner of your eye you happen to glimpse the other shoe (or sometimes the whole damn store) falling just to your right.
how is it that i have so many thoughts and feelings... maybe i'd even go so far as to label them 'preminitions' about things, and yet - somehow, i'm never quite prepared for whatever is coming? good things? bad things? no such things.
i don't even know where to begin this time. not even sure it matters. apparently things are going on and i'm not necassarily being inturpretted as essential. whew. had me worried for a minute there. i thought i was actually going to be required to contribute something. at least now i understand the full expectation. now i can at least watch my back.
really? no warning? is this really how adults handle things? i suppose then, that i'm not interested in being an adult at all. i'd much prefer to just get it all out. i'm not a superfan of closed door, special interest groups or their self-serving, cloak and dagger debates.
go on then. persue whatever it is that you think will work best. please just count me out. one casualty is more than enough body count for this little girl.
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